crooked tree

smack bam in the middle of nowhere sat there a ripped, attacked and teared up tree on it’s own. It was a beautiful night, with a glowing creamy moon, with a galaxy sky and sparkling clouds. In the day time people would crowd around this tree and take photos, but at night it was absolutely silent no cars no people no nothing it was magnificent absolutely magnificent. Small and big animals would perch up on this interesting tree. But I never new why it was so incredible. I wonder if that is what I am going to find out soon.

2 thoughts on “crooked tree

What an interesting take on the prompt, Eliza! I love the idea of a tree whose true beauty is only revealed at night to the animals and the narrator. It made me wonder: who is the narrator? Is he/she a human? And if yes, why the only human to witness this wonder? So well done on creating a believable and mysterious setting.

My wish for you is to work on your punctuation skills. To help with this, practise reading your story aloud, following the cues that your punctuation gives the reader. Here is how I would have punctuated your middle sentence:

In the day time, people would crowd around this tree and take photos. But at night it was absolutely silent: no cars, no people, no nothing… it was magnificent, absolutely magnificent.

Each of these commas signals a slight pause upon reading, which increasing the dramatic effect of your text.

What do you think?
Keep up the wonderful work!

Hi Eliza,
Thanks for sharing this piece of writing – lots of description!
Stay safe 🙂
Mrs Abena

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