Stink Pet

At exactly 2:33pm, my mom was going to bring in my pet raccoon, but turns out my mum was going to be super late it was now 2:40pm, the kids were getting restless I was slowly getting more and more humiliated.

“Oi kid when you bringing in your stink pet” said James in a teasing voice.

“Yeah, I agree with James get a move on” said Benjamin screaming meanly.

My raccoon lived in a moldy box on top of a chair he loved playing with leaves in fact a leaf was the most interesting thing for him he would blow them into the sky and watch them float down. My mom finally got there it was a relief to me.

3 thoughts on “Stink Pet

Hi Eliza,
I like your story. Your use of adjectives like’restless’ and ‘humiliated’ really give me an idea of what was going through your character’s mind. Maybe you could watch your punctuation and put in more more fullstops/capital letters.
Well done.
Mrs O Sullivan

Hi Eliza,

You did a great job letting us in on your main character’s inner thoughts and feelings, thus creating a relatable protagonist. The setting out of your dialogue shows good improvement (new line each time, good job). Now onto continuing to improve your punctuation skills. Reading your story aloud to your partner with a lot of expression should help you identify the spots where you need to add full stops and/or commas.

Keep up the wonderful work!

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